Thursday, July 29, 2010

What This Feels Like

Well, it’s not easy to describe but I’ll try.  Bear with me.

A normal person is like this

guardianwater

Their hoses are all gushing water as they should.  These allow you to move around, well, normally.  Imagine if the water is slowing being shut off and the number of hoses are cut down.  That’s me. 

You can appreciate some of what I’m going through if you look at this video.  I will post other links as I find them.  http://www.bible-medicine.com/  Look at ones on MSA.  They are somewhat older but they shed some light on what’s going on with me rather than on what to do for me.

Standing up I can do with some difficulty.  It feels a little like I am on stilts; I’m unsure how to stand, therefore I don’t walk.  If you hold me by my arm or shoulders, I might be able to for a while. 

I am a member of http://www.psp.org/.  So far I’ve attended some informative webinars which have been good about telling me what’s going inside me but so far not a treatment or cure that will put me on a road that goes somewhere rather than nowhere. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself and even cry uncontrollably.  I don’t know what or how to feel. 

I think what needs to be done is to come up with whatever will melt or dissolve the glue that seems to be gumming up the works (my brain).  Once that is working again, my body can take care of the rest.

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