about all of this is not what you’d expect. I am aware of my surroundings and feel almost teased that I can’t participate. I dream all is normal and often wake and have to remind myself that I was just dreaming and not on my way somewhere or doing what I was just dreaming about. I often want to repair something or clean something up but am unable to do that. I used to rake leaves as a teenager as a chore or punishment but would love to do it now. I used to do the vacuuming as my wife never seemed to like this (even now she mutters all the while she is) and I made sure I did a good job, dusting too. My TV screen or the bookcase it sits on has not been dusted in almost 4 years. The Rainbow vacuum cleaner I brought with me was replaced a few years ago but even though it’s probably the best in the world, she didn’t care for it and especially didn’t like emptying it so gave it away to goodwill, my blessing not needed.
I have a car but haven’t driven it in almost four years. My stepdaughter drives it and refers to it as hers even though she and I have never talked about driving it. Maybe before all is said and done it may not be in my name any longer. I did finish paying for it before I lost my job. Does that still make it mine?
I did sign a POA a few years ago but what was discussed at the time was that I didn’t want extraordinary measures used to keep me alive – like an oxygen or feeding tube. I think that since it has been used for more than that.
If you haven’t surmised, the worst thing about this disease is not that it has robbed me off my dignity and ability to do as I want or need, but somehow I’ve lost the support system I thought would be there. I was diagnosed with this disease while seeing various specialists and waiting for someone to say you have this and here’s what we can do about it and after 3 years. Based on what I’ve read it can take a while to come up with this. A year after this happened I started using a wheelchair to get around the house. I would take a few steps and didn’t feel I could hold myself any longer. I was concerned I would fall and either hurt myself or hit my head. Six months after that my wife and I were sitting in the living room and she said I’m not going to give into you any longer. I’ve been doing it since Beech Hollow! My first response was what do you mean by that? She got up and left the room. I asked again a few weeks later and she did the same thing.
Little Bit of History: Married August, 1993; lived at two addresses on Beech Hollow Drive (next to each other but now bigger); spending my GI Bill, I bought and built a house in Westfield at http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=2902+Crosscreek+Cir,+Westfield,+IN+46074&aq=0&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=32.66491,78.662109&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=2902+Crosscreek+Cir,+Westfield,+Indiana+46074&z=16. and moved there May, 1996 (it was on me as she said she had credit issues but the no money down worked!); sold that house and moved here http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=7596+W+93rd+St,+Zionsville,+IN+46077&aq=0&sll=37.160317,-95.712891&sspn=32.636267,78.662109&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=7596+W+93rd+St,+Zionsville,+Indiana+46077&z=16 in 2005 (her mother and 2nd stepfather wanted to move out of the house they have lived in since the beginning of the 70s and build in Brownsburg, not far from where she lived as a child, and we would move in as Stephanie had always wanted to live here) and we now both had our names on the mortgage.
Hmmm. Now I can put 2 and 2 together and get a result just like you but if there was an issue before we moved to Westfield and surely before we moved in 2005, why didn’t we ever discuss it? Weren’t we friends? Adults? Love each other?? Maybe I’ll finally get an answer before it’s all said and done. I hope so. I pray that all will be explained before the other person who would have answers (me) can’t provide them.
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