Well, at least those I had some kind of relationship with along the way. I had a few girlfriends since I was 21, and even thought a few times about marriage.
My first real girlfriend was Jean Geyer who I met at Laney while I was taking some prerequisites for preparing me to attend UC Davis veterinary school. She worked at a department store and I was trying to live off the income from the G.I. Bill,; after all that’s what I had gone into the USAF in the first place. It was about $320 (gross), and my rent was $125 so there was not much left over. I didn’t want to get a job as I wanted to devote all my time towards my studies and I didn’t have much time as I was taking 15 credits. After about 18 months I realized I couldn’t realistically do that since my girlfriend moved out (she had some issues she still needed to work out concerning her dad (Scary Smart engineer who worked for Bechtel and had a hand in building B.A.R.T., http://www.bechtel.com/bay_area_rapid_transit_system.html a feat to be sure).
The second would be Barbara, who I met in 1978. We lived in a small, two-story duplex; I was on the top floor. She already lived there but not sure if I ever knew for how long. My mother didn’t like her but never said why. Maybe it was because she was a year or so older; had a child (Africa Patrice) that was about 4; was from Arkansas; or that she was black. Now I will say that she probably seduced me. Not because I was some wealthy, good-looking example of the male of the species. Far from that. I was a gangly, buck-toothed student (going through the CETA program – explained here http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/11/19/ceta-a-70s-federal-jobs-program-that-didn-t-work/ or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comprehensive_Employment_and_Training_Act) making enough to pay the food and rent (I think it was about $150) and buy gas for my bike. I think it was just because I was white. Not much of a reason because I’m pretty sure I had nothing to do with that. It wasn’t for who I was but what (or as she perceived it) I was. That didn’t cross my mind until several months later.
I was out of school and working for Crocker National Bank in the word processing area of their Training & Development department. I worked with about 12 others, I being the only male. The dynamics were about the same in school – 2 males and about 25 women. I also about doubled my income (about $750 gross) – a bonus during those lean days. Well, I had made a few friends in class and they got jobs in S.F. too. I lived at one end of the Bay Bridge and worked at the other. I brought Patricia Noles home one day. I always thought she could have been a model; she was tall and beautiful. I introduced her to Barbara, she stayed a few minutes and then went home.
It was either later that day or a few days later. We were both on the bed (clothed!!), me on my back with my eyes closed and she sitting on the bed at my side. We were talking and the conversation went to Pat’s visit. I don’t remember what she asked but basically I told her that Pat didn’t like her. Slap! My face stung for a bit and it was out of the blue but considering what I just said, I can sort of see why it happened. It sure woke me up in more ways than one. For the first time I looked at why I was even in this relationship. When I couldn’t figure it out (well, the sex was good), I started distancing myself. Three years later, I was able to move out and lived with my mom and step-dad until I was able to save up enough money (maybe 5-6 months) and moved to El Cerrito (http://www.bart.gov/stations/plza/map.aspx) on Richmond Street, where I lived for almost 9 years.
The next few girlfriends (2 + a former one) are kind of a blur because I couldn’t decide who I was with and why so I would just, well, rotate. I guess you could call this my dog days; enjoyable for me on one level but not my proudest moments. I did this for a few years and along the way I was stabbed (I caught one girlfriend’s son stealing money from my wallet), lost all my keys (another found a picture of another girlfriend – it was actually innocent but “blood” was in her eyes – so she threw my house keys, and I never found them) and even got crabs (from my ex) (Rid helped) (twice!!).
When I met my next girlfriend, Elnora Oristil, I had shaken off all the old habits and was ready for something new. I would say she certainly was the most gorgeous and generous of everyone. She had twins who inherited all the best of her attributes. She was originally from South America and worked at a major bank. I was at T&T and I met her one day on BART. I thought she was very attractive, especially in her leather pants, and since I had my teeth fixed and had gained weight in all the right places (i.e., my confidence level was much higher than it had been) our relationship blossomed from there. What went wrong was a combination of things, all on my side. I had a conversation with my oldest brother and he had less than flattering things to say about her accent. I can only imagine that may have had something to do with his Korean wife he met while stationed there. She took him for a ride and not really sure what he gave up financially let alone personally.
