Bullying – My experiences and why it’s a bad idea

I never experienced this until I went to a private school.  I thought it was unique to those type schools but I’ve been seeing a lot in the news about this subject.  Here’s my story.

We called it hazing and don’t see much difference except hazing usually involves only upper and lower classmen but there are always grey areas right?

I was fortunate to have an older brother in the school and he deflected some of my punishment but there was still some going on.   For example:

• Eating – there were times that desserts or other well-liked foods were forfeited.  There were other times we would be forced to eat things.  Some examples: 

Milkshakes (to be drunk as fast as possible)

butterscotch – milk with a healthy shot of mustard;

strawberry – milk with a healthy shot of ketchup; and

vanilla – milk with a heavy dose of salt.

• Beatings – in the recreation room, you would be made to touch your toes while the big part of a pool cue is swung at your bottom.  Mine was pretty boney!
• More beatings – if you were “caught” alone you might suffer at least one punch from whoever is there.  Never usually at the face.  Less evidence.
• Chores – we all had chores to do and there were times when we would be forced to do someone else’s.
• Flicking your ear or hitting you on the head (yes.  kinda like on NCIS) – this could happen at any time so if you were near an upper classman, you would be fearful.
• Showers – some got beat with a twirled up towel in the shower or locker room.

One thing we would always try to do.  No matter what, we wouldn’t cry or give the person(s) doing this the satisfaction that they were affecting us in any way.  As we became upper classmen, we stopped all that we saw.  If someone did it to someone else, we would intervene.  I’d like to think my class had something to do with abolishing this behavior (and thinking) for all those coming after us.

Why does this behavior happen in the first place?  Some of what I’ve described simply happens as a right of passage.  It happened to me so now it’s gonna happen to you.

I think other situations come about due to jealousy.  You have something I want.  You have something I don’t have (like playing an instrument or athletic ability or how you think or maybe even money or article of clothing or jewelry).  You have something I think you have.

In my early years, there was a paddle called the Board of Education for the Seat of Learning.  It was mostly used by the Principal but teachers sometimes used it too.

When I was a young boy

I do have tinnitus.  Didn’t realize it until all this happened.  Just thought I always had “super” hearing.  No tests I ever took in my life showed any issues. 

I got an earache one day coming home from school during the winter.  I was in either kindergarten or 1^st grade.  We lived at the end of row houses and my school was at the other.  I don’t remember leaving in pain, but by the time I got home, I was doubled over.  My left ear ached with more pain than I ever experienced before.  My mother heated up some mineral oil? and the relief was so immediate and comforting, I was asleep in a jiff.  So I wonder, could it be   http://www.comcast.net/slideshow/news-weirdsymptomsexplained/9/?   In the meantime, I hear wooshing or high-pitched noises out of my left ear.  I wish I still thought I had superior hearing.

Spider Bites!

I moved in with my mother and step-father escaping one of  my many failed relationships.  This was around July/August of 1981.  I was sunbathing (and fell asleep) when I was awakened by a sharp pain in my right side.  I fell back to sleep and was awakened by another jab in my side.  I was dreaming that I had fallen on one of the sharp iron poles

that surrounded the cemetery across from where I lived in Upper Darby at 292 Kent Road.  This made me sit up.  I lay on this type lounge chair

with this type cushion

and buried in one of the buttons was a dark ball.  Turned out to be a black widow. 

 

You can read up on what to expect http://www.desertusa.com/july97/du_bwindow.html or here http://www.medicinenet.com/black_widow_brown_recluse_pictures_slideshow/article.htm but here’s what happened to me.

It happened on a Sunday afternoon and, except for the naps laying in the sun, I didn’t sleep again until Wednesday night.  Mind you, it didn’t bother me none.  In fact, except for the fact this was in the days before all night TV, it was pretty boring!  I saw all the channels have the flag ceremonies and heard the Star Spangled Banner songs and the stations fade.  Like this http://www.tv-signoffs.com/clips/KTVU-signoff-1980.htm.  (The internet is so cool!  Thanks Al and where were you during these days?)

I even visited the emergency room.  They just wanted to observe me for an hour and they sent me home.  They weren’t sure what was going to develop but they did give me a laundry list. 

By Monday a strange and unexpected symptom developed.  I began sweating profusely from right above my knees to my ankles.  This was exactly on both legs.  At first I just ignored it but then it just felt too weird.  I began toweling myself off using many of my towels but after they were exhausted I grabbed whatever I could at my mom’s.  In 2-3 hours I probably used all I could find.  I then started doing the laundry.  It was like I was a sponge or something.  Wringing myself out.  When my legs started to itch I began sitting in a little water in the bathtub as this seemed to provide some relief.  I almost dozed off several times but snapped awake whenever my chin touched my chest. 

Things then began to change for the weirder.  The length of the sweating changed.  It was still at my ankles but moved down my leg at a rate of ¼”/hour.  By Wednesday I just had a small band around the ankles and then that stopped too.

I never had cramps, pain, spikes in appetite, nausea or any of the other symptoms mentioned that those bitten might go through.  I just wish there was something I could have been doing all this time.  I went back to work on Thursday and just chalked this up to vacation time.  I didn’t even know how to claim it as sick.